giving thanks and the "but..."

there is so much to be thankful for, every day not just thanksgiving day.

to take a minute each day to recognize a handful of thanks for the little things we pass over on appreciation to the tangible fortune and abilities. when days are gray and thoughts are tiring, why not pull from what we're surrounded with to brighten the day and revive our own morale.

personally, i'm emotionally frustrated with a few close amigos - but also very proud and excited for another few.

i'm delighted to have a job, though it's not where i want to be or what i want to be doing - but i truly enjoy working at apple and the people and personalities along with it. i understand the job market is an illusion at the moment, but i can't use that mask as an excuse forever.

i love living with my parents and having dinner, game night and/or our tv shows together every night - but i don't want to get too comfortable. this is the hardest "but" because i know i'm welcome here. forever, eternally. and i wouldn't at all mind. the material benefits - like food, laundry, clean house, quiet space, car&gas - all paid for, all provided without question. the sentimental benefits - like good company, conversation, laughing, and enjoying the love from mom and dad, and being in a warm home - the only home i've ever known. and why wouldn't i live here right now? no one ever leaves this house, it's where we all come back to and where we're all welcome, but how to say thank you, really thank you, but i have to go and fly away... but don't worry, i'll be back, and really, i'll be back. because it's home. and it's a catch vingt-deux.

so what am i thankful for today?

i'm thankful for yesterday: decorating the christmas tree with emily. dad laughing, drinking, making dinner watching us from the kitchen. spaghetti & meatball dinner, the 4 of us at the dining room table by the illuminated tree adorned with tokens from memory lane. watching the eagles with dad, sipping glasses of red. and eating fresh, soft spicecakes - a family recipe tradition.

and today, so far i'm thankful for waking up to jacques crying, meowing and jumping up to sleep behind my knees. later, watching jacques sleep the afternoon away in my fluffy, white king bed. the christmas candle in my front window.

and the excitement and pleasure from wrapping big boxes and arranging them under the tree. and the day off to do yoga and hang with pdawg. maybe i'll hear from alex; that'd wrap the day up in a ribbon.